


Yes, Men

by elle_you_oh, itsamagicalplace



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Multi, This started as crack we promise, post season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_you_oh/pseuds/elle_you_oh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsamagicalplace/pseuds/itsamagicalplace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Melinda May returns from her vacation, she arrives back to much more than she bargained for</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yes, Men

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be crack. It was to relieve fandom stressing and maybe make people smile a little bit.  
> And then it got fun.
> 
> AKA when elle_you_oh goes on a sugar high, and itsamagicalplace lets her inner mind roam free.

Melinda hadn’t really been on a vacation in years. There’d been talk of time in the sun -

_“When you get back, maybe you and I can take a trip.”_

But then Bahrain had happened and nothing was the same.

She dealt with her crisis in different ways this time round.

In the space of three years one of her oldest friends died and came back to life, the organization she gave her everything to fell to pieces, said friend basically went crazy and made some epicly poor decisions and now they were dealing with the aftermath of a war with not-so-human beings.

So she deserved a vacation, really, she did.

 

***

 

It was just past midnight when May returned to the base, having being off the grid for almost three and a half weeks. She had tanned a couple shades darker, and was visibly less tense all over thanks to several sessions with a particularly overzealous masseuse - which in her mind was definitely time well spent.

Strange as it was to think, her room at their old SSR base felt like home to her, the firing range and sparring areas surprisingly peaceful, the labs - well, those held slightly more terrifying memories and manifested darker thoughts.

Whilst Phil gave her all the space she wordlessly requested - she suspected it had something to do with his inability to use emoticons one handed - Skye was her usual self and had no qualms about hacking around until she found a way contact her SO:

_ “Hey May. Sorry about blasting you. Hope you enjoy the vacation.” _

_ “Hey May. Simmons kind of got eaten by that Kree rock Gonzales was hiding on his ship. And right after Fitz asked her on a date.” _

_ “Oh and AC says no one is allowed to tell you, so don’t come back or I’ll be grounded.” _

As far as May was aware however, Simmons remained nowhere to be found, and Bobbi was still in recovery from her latest surgery, so the laboratories were probably the worst place possible to be in at the moment.

So she kept walking.

Past the labs, past the kitchen, past the little games area that Fitz and Mack had set up together a few months earlier.

Her feet lead her there before she realised where exactly it was she was heading, but less than a minute later, she found herself stood outside Coulson’s office.

The door was closed, but as she debated whether or not to knock, she recognised the low tones emanating from the room that belonged to a certain ex-husband of hers.

Andrew.

What was he doing here? When she left, the two of them had been in a weird place. She honestly hadn’t been entirely sure what was going on with them - another reason to go. She’d needed to clear her head, and her mind.

But he was still here, and she damn well wanted to know what he and Coulson were collaborating on this time.

Without waiting any longer, she swung open the door, taking a step inside the room.

And stopped, raising her eyebrows higher than she thought possible.

To be fair, she’d seen both men in some, well, to say the least, strange, situations over the years. Sure, for Phil, most of those situations were as a direct result of her experimental pranking back at the academy. And at the beginning of their partnership. And after field ops. And well…

Nothing like this.

And in Andrew’s case, well, she’d definitely seen her ex husband like this.

Well, maybe not quite like this.

Andrew was half-sat and half-leaning against the edge of Coulson’s desk. And standing in front of him, with both hands - one real, and one robotic - resting on the top of Andrew’s naked thighs, was Coulson himself, suit pants down to his ankles, and Captain America boxers on full display.

Both jumped up in shock when they realised she had arrived.

May looked from one to the other, and then back again, attempting - and failing - to avoid seeing something she didn’t want to.

She blinked, multiple times, hoping maybe that if she kept closing her eyes it would wash the image away that was now permanently burned into her mind. She didn’t need it there, for multiple reasons (the familiar warmth spreading low in her belly being a particularly concerning one).

The hint of pink that had rushed to Coulson’s cheeks was almost cute, but May berated herself for that thought as the awkward silence that had ensued the moment she entered the room continued, five, and then ten seconds ticking by, as all three wondered what exactly could be said to escape the situation.

“So,” Coulson cleared his throat, swallowing hard and nodding slowly. “You’re back.”

May looked from one to the other again.

“I’m back.”

“We weren’t sure what day you were returning” Andrew continued, looking straight at her as though the situation was completely normal for the three of them.

“Evidently.”

Phil rubbed the back of his neck with the heel of his palm, of his real hand, the robotic one hanging limply against his side. She noted with a poorly concealed smirk that neither men seemed to terribly concerned with their state of undress.

“So,” May said nonchalantly, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it. “Have I missed much?”

“Well-” Phil began, casting a not-so-subtle glance over at Andrew before May interrupted.

“Ignoring the fact that you neglected to let me know Simmons is MIA.”

Both men were watching her with a mix of guilt and embarrassment at this point, evidently not enough of the second emotion because their pants were still down by their ankles, shirts open and missing a button or two.

She moved from her position against the door and pulled her arms across her chest as she slowly approached them.

She could almost feel their breaths quicken as she stood stock still before them, eyebrow raised high and head cocked slightly to one side.

“I didn’t realise  _this_ ,” she gestured between them, “was still a thing.”

Phil sighed. “Honestly, neither did we, May.”

“It wasn’t something that was planned out,” Andrew continued, half reaching an arm out towards her, and stroking a finger down the back of her hand. “But you know how it used to be. The stress, working together, everything going wrong. We needed… an outlet.”

May glanced between them.

“The same as it used to be?”

Andrew looked at Phil, and the two seemed to have a silent conversation, before nodding.

All the oxygen seemed to be sucked out of the room as May uncurled her arms, reaching out in different directions until one hand was gently cupping the side of Andrew’s face, fingers tracing over the familiar stubble, the other resting over Phil’s scar, feeling the beat of his heart beneath her palm.

“Melinda,” they called out to her in harmony as she quickly made for the door, the sound of her name falling from their lips speeding up her actions rather than halting them. With a flick of her wrist the door was bolted, and she could both see and hear the shock as she turned around to face them once more, fingers teasing the hem of her t-shirt before she tugged it over her head in one smooth motion.

“Let’s go...”

 

 


End file.
